Tonight's blog is about "SELF". What is your self purpose? What is your time worth? Do you have a sense of self time? Self worth? Self loathing? Vanity? Self hate?
I am just now realizing the depth of living my life for others. Granted, I truly believe that as of right now, my purpose in life is to serve the earth under God's eyes. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I'm "Super Christian Sister Soldier" or anything, but I do believe that I was put here to "help".
People always say that they don't know their purpose in life. I don't really either. People say that God "talks" to them. I can't say that. I can however say that God has sent me signs, both subtle and blatant. Some people, and myself, call it karma and fate.
I try to live my life in a good way. I try not to let other people jar me to where I lose my morals & standards. Sometimes I certainly feel that I am being tested, and yes I feel like a failure sometimes. Others, I feel on top of the world. Sometimes I feel like I can't do any wrong, others I feel like what is the point of trying?
Blessings come in all shapes and sizes:
- That little girl that smiles at you in a passing car
- That butterfly that landed on your knee while you were crying at the park
- That extra $10 that you loaned out 2 years ago & you forgot about until they gave it back
- That call from a friend that just wanted to hear your voice
- The old man in the store that says you remind him of his wife who passed
Tests also can come in many forms:
- The little boy lost at the store that tugged on your shirt tail
- The woman with 4 kids and a cart full of groceries parked two cars over from yours
- The teenager in front of you at the 7-11 that needed .50 cents to put air in his tire
- The homeless man that offers to clean your windows
- The job that stifles your creativity and tells you to change
I was talking to a friend at work and he told me that God doesn't want you to give with the expectation that "man" (any human in this case) will repay you. He wants you to give what he gives to you until you cannot comfortably give any more. After that is done, He sees fit to reward you with more of what He promised from the beginning. It's not your money, it's His. He also says that promises are made for those willing to be selfless and love their neighbor. So what is so wrong with that? People actually think I can be too nice... Really? Is there a such thing, or are you not nice enough?
I have had some time to ponder why my soul feels like it doesn't belong here on this plane, but again, my friend explained, well, reminded me that we don't belong here, we are just living here under one big roof and we are supposed to make due and enjoy the gifts given, just as allowance is given to children after chores are done.
As torn and weighted as I have felt about my existence, my friend took the time out of his schedule to come to my desk today and start talking... as if he knew that I needed an angel today; hence the tie-in to the blessings and tests rant above.
You may or may not be Christian, you may not have any faith at all, but you know what, something happened to me today that I needed. I needed fresh air in my lungs and it took a random 30 minute talk at lunch to do so. If you take nothing from this post, please just tell one person in your life how much you appreciate them and what a good job they do (at anything). That person may need, to be needed. Thank you.
...Thank you.
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Now playing: Flying Lotus - RobertaFlack (Feat. Dolly)
via FoxyTunes
