Uncertainty

Definition of Uncertainty -

1.	the state of being uncertain; doubt; hesitancy

2.	an instance of uncertainty, doubt, etc.

3.	unpredictability; indeterminacy; indefiniteness.

These are uncertain times. The economy is troubled, war is still going on, cost of living keeps going up, consumer activity is going down,credit is harder to get, the cost of gas (the hidden war) is still rising... I never thought I would fall prey to the times, or what happens to peoples lives, relationships, health, mental state, or stress levels during these times. I thought that by living bravely, working hard, and going right by people, everything would fall into place.

I'm writing this because after Ida's (Nor'easter) mess this week, "the straw broke the camels back". I lost my last piece of transportation to the flood waters here in Virginia. I heard from the insurance adjuster that told me that my awesome truck is totaled...

I find myself being defined by a 7th grade spelling word.

Have you ever felt that everything you do is tested and you wonder when that test will end?
Have you ever felt like you were losing everything around you?
Have you ever wondered where your next paycheck will come in?
Have you felt like you were sitting in the middle of a crowded amphitheater screaming at the top of your lungs and no one hears you?
Have you ever worked so hard for something for so long and be told that you are going to lose it in a short period of time (job, home, relationship, promotion, fill in the blank here.....)?

Yeah. It is troubling.

As strong as some people show themselves to be, they are just an undercooked boiled egg. Hard shell on the outside, a little softer one layer down, and when you get to the center, they are a steaming hot puddle of goo oozing all over the plate in an uncontrolled pattern...

I'm not going into any more personal details, but in a 1 year span, my life has changed completely, just like a lot of you out there. Money is tighter, friends are more scarce, time is more precious, people in general are more understanding of other peoples plights.

One piece of advice for all of you that may be going through something: God will not put you through anything that His grace cannot get you through. I remind myself every day that everything happens for a reason, and you always get what you NEED when you need it, not when you WANT it.

Patience is truly a rewarded virtue.

Guys and dolls, kiss your family, because in the end, they are all that matter.



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Now playing: Flying Lotus - Tea Leaf Dancers
via FoxyTunes

People of Wal-mart...

You know, people are stupid. Yes, a person is smart, but PEOPLE are stupid. Tonight's post is about how I should have gone into sociology. Today and tomorrow I will post about the 6 different types of people in Wal-mart that constantly trip me out... Tonight is for you ladies...

There are three kinds of women that walk into Wal-Mart:

• The "F*ck It" chic
• The ignorant/fed up mom
  
• The date/hottie

The "F*ck It" chic. This girl walks into Wally World looking like she just jumped from the back of a F-150. Hair messed up, sweat pants, no bra, flip flops or house shoes. Maybe, if we are lucky, we might get to see that occasional cheese-picking action in between the isles. Then there is the girl that screams 4 isles over for her friend to come look at the newest album from her favorite artist. Why ladies? Have SOME sense of self dignity.


The ignorant/fed up mom. OK mom, let's look at something. If you plan on bringing your baby, your 4 year old, your 8 year old and your 10 year old, please take it upon yourself to teach them public restraint. This means, I better not run over then with my cart because they decided to lay on the floor in the chip isle having a fit. This also means that you are not allowed to send them off by themselves to the toy section to play with everything they see so that it can be left in the isle. One last thing, if the baby is crying for longer than 15 minutes, they is a problem that you need to solve... bottle, candy, diaper, or nap. Crying it out in a busy Wal-Mart is not cool. It just makes everyone in Wal-Mart angry at you and your innocent children.


Last but certainly not least, the date/hottie. Girl. there is no reason for you to come to the store in your bootie-huggers, thongs, high heels, hair done like a Saturday night, glitter make up, and a gallon of perfume! Please. You are a spectacle. Oh I forgot, this is where you two met...


OK, enough rant. Tomorrow is for you fellas. And hey, if I offended, it was your fault, not mine.

Self or Selfless?

Good evening.

Tonight's blog is about "SELF". What is your self purpose? What is your time worth? Do you have a sense of self time? Self worth? Self loathing? Vanity? Self hate?

I am just now realizing the depth of living my life for others. Granted, I truly believe that as of right now, my purpose in life is to serve the earth under God's eyes. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I'm "Super Christian Sister Soldier" or anything, but I do believe that I was put here to "help".

People always say that they don't know their purpose in life. I don't really either. People say that God "talks" to them. I can't say that. I can however say that God has sent me signs, both subtle and blatant. Some people, and myself, call it karma and fate.

I try to live my life in a good way. I try not to let other people jar me to where I lose my morals & standards. Sometimes I certainly feel that I am being tested, and yes I feel like a failure sometimes. Others, I feel on top of the world. Sometimes I feel like I can't do any wrong, others I feel like what is the point of trying?

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes:

• That little girl that smiles at you in a passing car
• That butterfly that landed on your knee while you were crying at the park
• That extra $10 that you loaned out 2 years ago & you forgot about until they gave it back
  
• That call from a friend that just wanted to hear your voice
• The old man in the store that says you remind him of his wife who passed

Tests also can come in many forms:

• The little boy lost at the store that tugged on your shirt tail
• The woman with 4 kids and a cart full of groceries parked two cars over from yours
• The teenager in front of you at the 7-11 that needed .50 cents to put air in his tire
• The homeless man that offers to clean your windows
• The job that stifles your creativity and tells you to change

I was talking to a friend at work and he told me that God doesn't want you to give with the expectation that "man" (any human in this case) will repay you. He wants you to give what he gives to you until you cannot comfortably give any more. After that is done, He sees fit to reward you with more of what He promised from the beginning. It's not your money, it's His. He also says that promises are made for those willing to be selfless and love their neighbor. So what is so wrong with that? People actually think I can be too nice... Really? Is there a such thing, or are you not nice enough?

I have had some time to ponder why my soul feels like it doesn't belong here on this plane, but again, my friend explained, well, reminded me that we don't belong here, we are just living here under one big roof and we are supposed to make due and enjoy the gifts given, just as allowance is given to children after chores are done.

As torn and weighted as I have felt about my existence, my friend took the time out of his schedule to come to my desk today and start talking... as if he knew that I needed an angel today; hence the tie-in to the blessings and tests rant above.

You may or may not be Christian, you may not have any faith at all, but you know what, something happened to me today that I needed. I needed fresh air in my lungs and it took a random 30 minute talk at lunch to do so. If you take nothing from this post, please just tell one person in your life how much you appreciate them and what a good job they do (at anything). That person may need, to be needed. Thank you.

...Thank you.


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Now playing: Flying Lotus - RobertaFlack (Feat. Dolly)
via FoxyTunes